dirty martini

Friday Lush: Filthy Dirty Martini

Catastrophes this week:

Betty my beloved car came back to me after a fortnight’s respite in my friend’s garage. We had a magical 24 hours together cruising around with the music on loud, but then she tried to kill me at 60 mph with a tail back of cars behind me.  It occurs to me that I currently spend more time on the sides of roads than an over-zealous dogger. But without any of the action. Sad times.

Year 9 school report.

Accidentally deleting two whole evening’s worth of work on my laptop. Yay! Working on a Friday night. Go me!

Leaving my keys in my front door and I mean the outside of my front door.  FOR A WHOLE DAY – 10 hours.  I live on a main road.  This is the third time I’ve done this now, happily I can report that 1. my keys were still there. 2. my belongings were still all there. 3. there was no psycho laying low waiting to murder me. And 4. I think it may be time to admit I am not fit to live alone, without supervision.

Setting fire to tea towel on hob. Actual flames.

Fusing electrics in whole house.

Triumphs this week:

Fixing electrics for whole house. *Adds electrician to list of surprising new skills.

Putting out minor fire. *Ditto, firefighter.

Wearing leather braces and a shirt. Like a god damn man. (Though my mum did ask me if ‘I’m a lesbian now’?) Nope, just fulfilling my Annie Hall fantasies.

Realising that somebody up there loves me because I am completely surrounded by angelic, kind people who are here rescuing me in all kinds of guises All. The. God. Damn. Time. By the roadside to by the fireside (the one in the hearth – not the unplanned tea towel one.)

This dirty martini.  And it’s filthy dirty because I like more olive brine in mine than most recipes.  And probably more gin too.  Actually quite a lot more gin.  Or vodka.  Or both.

Lil has a super savoury tooth and if I don’t catch and stop her she drinks the brine straight from the jar of olives straight out of the fridge. And soy sauce too. Umami overload.  Maybe this will be her drink of choice when she grows up? Must teach her how to fix a mean one. #MumOfTheYear

Filthy Dirty Martini

Serves 1
Prep time 5 minutes
Meal type Beverage

What you will need

  • 1 Measure vodka or gin
  • 1 Tbsp vermouth
  • 2 Tbsp olive brine
  • olives
  • lemon pith or wedge
  • ice
  • cocktail shaker


Step 1 Add the vodka or gin, vermouth, olive brine and some ice cubes to a cocktail shaker. Shake hard.
Step 2 Rub a wedge of lemon around a martini glass/champagne saucer. Add olives and lemon pith or wedge
Step 3 Strain the good stuff into the glass.
Step 4 Drink up. Hey, if you don't have a cocktail shaker it's fine. Just stir well in a glass. It just won't be as cold...
Step 5 Cheers.

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