Give me some sugar
March 6, 2017
Posted in View from the table
I know it’s unfashionable to sing the praises of sugar right now in our saccharin-free landscape, but I’m going to do just that. What the hell, I’ve never been fashionable anyway. Firstly, I do advocate healthy eating, I’m (usually) good to myself, and I use honey and agave and maple syrup to sweeten my breakfast etc and they’re good. But secondly, I am not about denying myself. That way madness lies, of that I’m sure. Denial only makes you want something even more, and that’s torture. So, the thing is, I don’t know how, but I’ve developed a sweet tooth where my savoury one used to be. I’ve had this twice in my life, through two pregnancies where I could eat a whole cake and if asked, casually pretend that I hadn’t, brushing crumbs from my lips. I could, and frequently would, spoon sugar straight out of the bowl and into my mouth, stand with my face and enormous belly pressed up against bakery windows and bake incessantly – for 9 whole months. I am not pregnant now but this sweet tooth is maddening me.
Sugar madness aside and back to the denial thing. Life is strange and short and unpredictable and the times we live in are uncertain. I’m frightened of Trump, I’m even more frightened of the fuckwits who voted him in. I’m frightened that missiles from North Korea are being tested off the Japanese coast. I’m frightened that I’m raising girls in a society where women STILL have to fucking march en-masse to be heard and not be invisible. And I’m frightened of getting old(er) and regretting not doing stuff, not living as fully as I know I could have done, and being bitter at my inertia, or fear, or laziness or hesitancy. I’m probably more frightened of that than the fake baked leader of the free world.
So, I’m addressing this fear of letting life sail past me, it’s too short, and I’m very aware of this. So I’m booking stuff; holidays and trips, in places that I know, places that I don’t – to wander and get lost in. Some with people and some on my own. Making time to do stuff that I always loved before grown-up life engulfed me then swallowed me whole. I’ll be going to some festivals this summer, one as an ‘adult’ where I can just, you know, be, and another more child-friendly one as Mama, with just Lil, because why not? She’ll be older soon, too cool for me, and she’ll say, ‘ah Mum, no offence but I’m going to pass on that, it’s not my thing, that music isn’t mine…’ as her sister gently did yesterday when I offered to book weekend tickets for we three. I’ll take this opportunity to muck around in a field with her while I can, it won’t last forever. I won’t deny myself that.
So, what the hell, get behind me Satan, I’m sugar fixing all over the shop. It won’t last forever either, so… If I want to, say, eat (almost) a whole banana bread made with good old refined sugar for breakfast (and sort of lunch too…) straight from the oven, so hot you have to blow your fingers as you pick it apart, while binge watching Gilmore Girls and Crazy Ex Girlfriend on my sofa, in my jammies, then I will do just that, and I won’t feel guilty about it either. I won’t do it everyday, what with having a job and responsibilities and all that, but I will when I want to and when I can. Like I said, denial is a terrible thing indeed.
This recipe is buried on my blog already but I’m so scared of losing it so I’m putting it on my recipe app thingy, I’ve been making this banana bread for about 20 years now but I’m too empty headed to remember the quantities, so it’s as much for my good as it is yours. Change the sugar – use muscovado, light brown or caster, add walnuts if you like and any kind of chocolate you please, Reese’s Pieces are a particular favourite. Go on. Make it. And eat the whole god damn thing to yourself. You know you want to.
Banana and Chocolate Bread
|Prep time||15 minutes|
|Cook time||1 hour|
|Total time||1 hour, 15 minutes|
What you will need
- 100g butter
- 175g sugar (any you like)
- 3 ripe bananas
- 2 eggs (beaten)
- 225g self raising flour
- 100g chocolate (chopped)
- 2 tablespoons milk
|Step 1||Preheat the oven to 180C/Gas 4 and line a loaf tin with greaseproof paper|
|Step 2||Cream the butter and sugar together, mix in the mashed banana followed by the eggs|
|Step 3||Sift in the flour, add the chopped chocolate and milk. Mix to combine all the ingredients|
|Step 4||Pour into the tin, sprinkle some sugar on the top of the batter and bake for about an hour. Cover with tin foil if it's getting too brown on top. It's ready when a skewer comes out clean.|
|Step 5||Cool on a cooling rack. Or eat warm, straight away.|