a week in photos: music misery
August 13, 2017
Posted in View from the table
I will be deaf when I am 50. Of that I am sure, I cannot see how this will not happen. I’ve calculated that I spend at least 30 hours a week with headphones jammed in my ears, and if I really, really like a song then I crank up the volume. I was going to be super-cheesy there and say pump up the volume, but I stopped myself from leaping over the fromage ledge.
The reason for the excessive headphones usage is two-fold. One I am rather anti-social, at 45 I think I can finally just admit it, the grumpy old woman is just waiting to bust out, she’s making a lot of unbidden appearances lately, and two, the music that is played in my office makes leaping out of the third floor window a tantalising option.
I have 20 years on most of my colleagues, and I’m a music snob – there I admitted it, and it’s not easy pleasing all the people all the time, it’s impossible. I wouldn’t want to be in control of the music because I wouldn’t know where to begin (we tried 6 Music, it was considered ‘too weird’). So this strange, middle of the road, easy listening, don’t offend anyone’s ears vibe has taken over. But it’s having the opposite effect on me, it’s making me closer to crazy than is advisable or comfortable.
And a weird thing happens, despite funnelling my head with music of my own choice, there are times when I am forced to remove my headphones and I Will Always Love You, the theme from Ghostbusters, Girls Just Wanna Have Fun/True Colours – Cyndi Lauper double bill – Wake Me Up Before You Go Go, Scouting For fucking Girls, Eye of the Tiger, I Need a Hero, Jive Bunny, All the Single Ladies, I Will Survive, Call Me Baby, Justin Beiber, The Spice Girls, UB40 Red Red Wine, Ace of Bass, The Killers, Craig David, Barbie Girl, 99 Red Balloons, Westlife, Atomic Kitten, Take That, Ronan Keating, Phil Collins, Everything I Do, I Do For You, Every Breath You Take, The Power of Love, I’ve Had The Time of My Life, Walking on Sunshine, Spandau Ballet, Dancing Queen, Come On Eileen and last but not least The Weather Girls – It’s Raining Men get jammed in my head. So then I have to close to blow the speakers to exorcise the aural ghosts on the drive home.
Maybe 50 is too conservative an estimate? Maybe we’re looking at 47/48 here.