Photo diary: in numbers
August 6, 2017
Posted in View from the table
1 fireman at my door – not as exciting as it sounds.
1 insight from Amber – ‘Lily! I look at you and wonder why you’re such a weirdo, then I look at mum and it all makes sense.’
1 new nickname – Black Heart, I’m not overly thrilled about my new nickname, I won’t lie.
3 spectacularly bad chat up lines from 3 separate guys. Top tip, ‘Can I touch your hair’ and ‘your teeth are so… clean’ are probably not going to get you laid, guys. I can’t even bring myself to type number 3…
9 episodes of Gilmore Girls.
1 spontaneous, giant cheer from all in the room when Luke kisses Loralei.
5 times saying ‘ahhh Grant’ every time singer Grant Lee Phillips the town troubadour pops up in Stars Hallow square with his guitar. I know this because Lil counted.
1 series of Grace and Frankie with Amber. Wholly inappropriate mother and daughter viewing but so good.
1 pure white deer spotted and videoed by my niece in woods close to my house. Cue huge excitement.
4 attempts to track down said white deer since her sighting.
0 sightings of said white deer. BUT I’m making it my business to track her down. Black Heart and the White Hart, now there’s a children’s story that I should write when the weather gets colder and the nights get darker.
5 times flashing my pants. Not intentionally. Wardrobe malfunction of short floaty dress on the windiest day of the year. Bad times but proof positive that you should always, always wear good pants.
1 text message received after leaving pub for dinner ‘nice pants’ . I rest my case.
1 case won that I’ve been fighting for 10 months. Good times.
7,460 (estimate) of those horrible, horrible skinny spiders that make webs bigger than those found in the Brazilian rain forest ‘removed’ from my house.
3 tradesmen hired by ME (ME!!) to get our business moving. Work allocated, dates booked, prices agreed.
362 moments (estimate) in a daydream bubble calling myself BOSS and LADY BOSS and having an inner dialogue with myself saying things like OWNING IT LIKE A BOSS and YEAH, I’M THE BOSS HERE. I know this because Amber asked me what I was thinking about because I was ‘smiling and looked weird.’
1 torrential downpour where I drove past 1 couple caught out in tees and no jackets. He with his arms wrapped around her, both laughing so much at the ridiculousness of their sudden situation. It made me smile 1 big smile.
There’ll always be someone or something to piss on your chips, it’s how you deal with it that counts. Maybe that heart’s not as black as it appears.