a week in photos: Yes (wo)man
September 10, 2017
Posted in View from the table
Want to know a secret? I’m petrified of life passing me by. It is of course my age, mixed with the realisation that we really are here for a short time. Sunday morning heaviness – I apologise, but as my grandma used to say – we are but feathers in the fire. You make your choices on how you burn and hopefully they’re the right ones. Hopefully.
I read a really great article about fear last week, here’s where I would post a link if I could remember where I read it, but I can’t. Maybe I should be more worried about my memory? Anyway, the upshot was that by holding ourselves back we lose so much more than just the initial experience we’re frightened of doing. For a woman who is scared of a lot of things, including helter skelters, slugs and any kind of water park slide thingys, this was good reading. Denying ourselves experiences because we’re scared, apparently, can really stop us gaining the emotional tool kit we need to survive life. You might have a crap experience, it might be awful, but you’ll have learned something from it, you’ll have a sense of achievement for having done it, but equally you might freakin well love it and curse yourself the years you’ve wasted. You also afford yourself some control and power, mighty fine things. And the only way to dispel fear is to square up to it. Facing the unknown is terrifying but far, far worse, in my mind, is realising that you’ve missed the boat, that it’s sailed without you, that life has passed you by because you were too scared to live it. My mum taught me this too, and it makes me incredibly sad to think that she regrets not doing so many things.
So, with this in mind I’ve decided to say ‘yes’, where ‘no’ has previously been my default, playing it safe, and it feels pretty good. Actually, it feels really damn good.
Pre-booking festivals for next year.
Starting a business with no money and no clue on how to start a business or how to run said business. Hell yeah.
Beautiful vintage Mexican embroidered dress (cannot afford, but could not afford the sheer sadness and disappointment of walking away without it in my arms either. Justified).
‘Want to come to Dublin?’ Yeeesssssss, let me check my bank. Checks bank. Cannot afford. Yeah, I’m in!
Making stuff happen for my Mum, we have some places to visit and time to make up for.
‘Want to come out for dinner?’ Err, yeah. Cue investment Mexican dress, paying for itself already! Hah.
‘Want to come to Brazil, Copenhagen, Iceland, Durham, Tenerife, Juniper Manor, Aldeburgh, Cornwall, Berlin, Lisbon, Brighton, on an owl-spotting hunt, the V&A, pizza in Leicester, a drink, a walk, to see Dunkirk, picking sweet chestnuts, for a weekend on a boat? Yes. To all. (Googles ‘how to perform a heist’).
I want to see Alt-J so badly on their tour, there are no dates in the UK that suit. So buys tickets for Prague. My sister has promised that Joe Newman will be singing to me and me only. Deal breaker. Hahaha.
‘Will you get a tattoo with me?’ Err, yeah. OK, but not on face.
‘Let’s get a date sorted to do something’. How many times do I say this then let it drift? Too many. SO action stations, diary out, plans planned, road trips organised – with promise of gin, huge hug and huge dinner at the end of them. Starting to feel like an actual boss. Might need to upgrade free diary from work to FILOFAX. Hahaha.
‘Will you come to Pilates or yoga with me?’ Yes. Because I want a bendy body and a straight head. And it’s just laziness that always stops me.
‘Would you like to do a crazy meditation course with actual monks? Lunch is included (all veggie)?’ Monks and lunch (all veggie), I mean who could actually say no to that one? Exactly.
‘Shall we save a rack of money and do loads of the restoration work (for our business) ourselves? Despite having not the first clue what we’re doing?’ Yes! Uploads how-to YouTube videos. And this is my favourite – cue day of going mental with tools – crowbar-ing stuff, kicking fittings out, smashing stuff, ripping walls out and generally saying ‘UGGGHHHHHHH! AGGGHHHHHHH! FUUUUUCCCCKKKKKKKKKKK! A lot. Man, my beer tasted good afterwards.
Black 50s dress with a red and yellow geo-print? Ohhhh, yes. (Googles second jobs).
Beautiful soft, oversized, mint condition vintage French denim work wear smock that I will wear as a mini dress. With clogs. Oh my actual god, YES. (Googles selling kidney).
‘Want to stop cleaning the house and have hot chocolate instead? We can watch Hunt for the Wilderpeople Mum? I’ve got the sofa and the blankets all ready.’ God yes. Yes with a cherry on top.
Not many photos this week on account of smashed up phone. Saying yes + whiskey + wine + late at night = bust phone, and very sore head. Hey, I never said saying yes was always the best decision, but I wanted a new phone anyway…